In light of Nick's list, and after viewing Angels in the Outfield this weekend for somewhere near the 150th time, I have decided that an open forum needs to exist to discuss the most relevant, and prolific sports movie characters ever created. There are hundreds of movies that qualify, and I can think of no finer assembly of humans to decide, once and for all, what the 10 greatest are. My nominations are as follows:
1, Roger Bomman (Angels in the Outfield)- Is it because he later became a star on 3rd rock from the sun? No. Is it because his dad said he would only come back into his life if the Angels won the pennant? Funny, Insanely Cruel, but No. (While we're on that, do you think this has ever happened before? Do you think a father has bailed on his kid, picked the most horrible franchise in a particular sport, and vowed that he would return to his paternal duties if, and only if, said horrible franchise won their division??? That's got to be like an 8 on the "horrible fathers scale". I think a 10 would be Jon Bonet Ramsey's dad. But I digress). Is it because he had a tiny black friend that was afraid to travel in busses and thought the moon was God's thumb nail? Close...but no. It's because he revealed to the world the true identity of the Leader of the World's Angel Alliance....Christopher Lloyd.
2, Gordon Bombay (Mighty Ducks Series)- I have always been a huge fan of Emilio Estevez. But never was I prouder to be a part of his fan club than during the classic USA vs. Iceland rematch in Mighty Ducks 2. He truly made Wolf "The Dentist" Stannson his bitch. My favorite part, though, is when we absolutely anally reamed Trinidad & Tobago in the early rounds. USA won by like 20 goals....take that T & T!
3, Somebody from Major League (or Major League 2, but as God is my witness, don't you dare nominate somebody or even mention the abomination that was Major League 3: Back to the Minors. I'm still not over that)- There are many possibilities here. I can't decide. Is it Rube Baker, who somehow made it to the Cleveland Indians without being able to throw the ball from home plate to the pitchers mound, something that I'm relatively certain Terri Schiavo, in her final days, could have done. How about Pedro Cerrano, who ignored a fly ball when an errant pigeon swooped down? (good thing he didn't play for the Diamondbacks in 2001) Would the obvious choice be the "Wild Thing"? On the plus side, he did get lots of ladies. On the negative side, it took him like 73 takes to do an Old Spice commercial. Input needed here, please!
4, Cheeseburger Eddy (The Longest Yard)- I know, I know. He is possibly the least relevant person I could have picked for this movie (which I must admit, was pretty good). But Cheeseburger Eddy brought a kind of comedy that I haven't seen before it, or since. His schtick was based purely on his ability to smuggle McDonalds into prison. For that, he must be heralded. While some are putting their ass on the line to bring dope, shanks, and bitches into the slammer, Eddy opted for the "processed meats" line of work. God only knows how he got them into jail, and if it's the method we are all painfully considering, if that enhanced or detracted from the taste. I think that a simple recognition is warranted, and ultimately, long overdue.
Those are my nominations for right now. Others may come to me later during the day, but I want to get this forum open for debate. I would love suggestions, with the final goal of publishing a list of the finest sports characters Hollywood has to offer.
Erob
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8 comments:
I nominate Billy Heywood from Little Big League. This kid was a genius. He understood what the players were going through, and was not afraid to berate an umpire with profanity in order to rile up his players. Even if it meant that the umpire would later tell his mother. And despite Ken Griffey Jr. ruining his season, he stayed strong. This movie was better than Rookie of the Year (a classic) because it employed baseball strategy, and was completely realistic.
And also...if the Angels in the Outfield theory is correct...there are hundreds of deadbeat dads in the Tampa Bay/St. Pete area that are kicking themselves.
Hahahaha I love it Nick. I went and watched the Little Big League trailer after you posted that. What a movie. That kid is in there.
In the interest of injecting some estrogen into this blog (cause afterall, what else am I good for?), I nomiate Dottie Hinson from A League of Their Own.
No self-respecting female athlete in this country can deny wanting to be her at some point in their life.
but this is a thread for sports movies. maybe i'm wrong, but i thought a league of their own was about women.
(btw...when i go missing, u all know where to look)
just cause they know WHO to look for doesn't mean they know WHERE to look.
jus' sayin'.
While we're broaching the subject, you haven't lived until you've read this article: http://www.theonion.com/content/opinion/when_life_gets_you_down
And as far as the candidates on the ballot, I would definitely have to go with Cerrano (P.S. When will Allstate think to use the clip of him caressing the bird for one of their "You're in good hands" spots?)
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