The Outlook Happy Hour Invite

I just received an Outlook happy hour invite and realized how depressing post-college drinking can be.

College "Let's drink" invites usually consisted of no more than a text message and bar name. For example: "Chubby's. Drunk." was a perfectly acceptable message.

Now, I just got a "A few people were talking about getting together tomorrow after work" Outlook message. My boss is invited. His boss is invited. Its written professionally. There is a time attached. The happy air of uncertainty surrounding the weekend is totally out the window because people have wives and little toddler-shitting kids to get home to.

Its not that my coworkers aren't fun, its just that the process is so amazingly soul-crushing compared to my carefree lassez-faire drinking days of USC. In addition, its not like I can pre-game in the office - or avoid paying less than $25 if I want to get a buzz (f*ck you DC).

But getting paid is nice.

Is there a player you hope used steroids?

If there's a player I hope used steroids, it's Derek Jeter. I think that'll probably get a lot of seconds on this blog.

Jeter would just completely topple the media's "clean player, dirty player" paradigm. And it would also put one of the most overrated douchebags in sports firmly in his place.

I'm curious to hear other nominations.

Lester: Mid Rotation Starter

I am with Connor on the Lester as a mid-rotation starter.
I will take Steve's challenge to name more than 5 teams where he wouldnt be a #2 starter:

The following teams, generally in order of how solid the argument that Lester is #3:

1. New York (CC & AJ)
2. Arizona (Haren & Webb)
3. Seattle (Felix & Bedard)
4. LA Angels (Lackey & Santana)
5. San Fran (Tim & Cain)
6. Cincy (Volquez, Cueto, Harang)
7. Atlanta (Lowe & Vazquez)
8. Tampa (Shields,Kazmir, & Garza)
9. Cubs (Zambrano, Dempster, Harden)
10. LA Dodgers (Billingsley & Kershaw)

Lester would only be the undisputed ace on 4 teams:
Baltimore, Washington, Pitsburgh, and Texas.

Although, he would have an argument for ace status on:
Florida - against Nolasco
St Louis - Wainwright (but a healthy Carpenter is better)
KC - Grienke
Oakland - Duchscherer
Colorado - Jimenez, Cook, and Francis.
Mil - Yovani!

Yahoo has Lester ranked as #21 fantasy starter, but I think we can all agree Lester's value is inflated by pitching in Fenway (yes, its a pitchers park!) and by playing with Boston's offense and bullpen behind him.

Pumping Gas

According to Lane Kiffin, all players from South Carolina who play for USC wind up pumping gas for the rest of their lives. You'd think he'd at least throw in coke and appearing at every charity auction within a twenty mile radius of the USC campus.

Jon Lester...WTF

On Monday, Red Sox Nation was delighted to hear that Jon Lester had signed a five-year $30 million with the Red Sox. However, it turns out that Jon Lester did not in fact make the mistake of signing long-term for less than he's worth. ESPN made the mistake, quoting Yahoo! Sports on an erroneous report. Is this really what mainstream media is becoming, even in sports?

The Wet, Bleak Days of March

Your optimism astounds me Connor. You are a true Gamecock.

I look at the depth chart and am distraught.

Moe Brown is still on this team and is listed as a starter?! He couldnt catch herpes from a 60 year-old French whore.
While you see "capable replacements" filling in for Captain and E Cook, I see... Addison Williams, this should be a delight to 11 people: the starting SEC QBs.
With both Cooks (E and J), McKinley, Jasper, Succop, and Captain all gone, I see 6 of our 7 best players gone. And, as for our best returning player, Eric Norwood, how many games do you think it will take until he goes into "Im mailing in this season because I dont want to get hurt and have Mel Kiper call me an injury risk" mode?

Stephen THE SAVIOR OF THE PROGRAM Garcia (copyright cocknfire from garnetandblackattack.com) has done nothng to suggest he will be anything beyond frustratingly inconsistent. Perhaps we should realize the truth about Garcia's "flashes of brilliance": even the sun shines on a horse's ass every once in awhile.

No, this time of year is not magical - its a depressing cock-tease: rays of sunshine will be at a premium between the bleak, cold days of March.

Spring practice depth chart released

It's that magical time of year when 45 degrees with heavy rain feels like a tropical retreat. As we watch spring training games in Florida and Arizona, our minds start to consider the possibility of leaving the house without spending five good minutes of heavy layering.

It's that magical time of year when girlfriends nationwide are put on notice that they have no reasonable expectation that their boyfriends will pay them a lick of attention in the build-up to (fantasy) baseball season.

And every once in a while, when you least expect it, you'll stumble upon a tasty treat like the release of the Gamecock football team's spring depth chart.

For losing three stars to early departure plus the stalwart Jasper Brinkley and Kenny McKinley to graduation, this group looks surprisingly strong. The defensive line should be one of the best in the SEC. The secondary shouldn't lose much from last year, as Munnerlyn and Cook will each be succeeded by capable replacements in Akeem Auguste and Chris Culliver. The offensive line looks like it will be stronger and deeper than ever before.

It would seem as though our success will (once again) hinge on our ability or inability to generate production from the offensive skill positions.