'lil O'Reilly

Theo Pursues New Japanese Target

Japan's 12 professional teams granted Junichi Tazawa's request that he not be drafted. The 22-year-old has reached 97 on the gun, and he desires a spot on a MLB team. Playing semi-pro baseball in Japan, 田沢純一 showed excellent control with a walk rate near 0.5 BB/9. His K-rates were consistently at or over 9 K/9. His career totals since 2005 (numbers in parentheses are unconfirmed):

IP	BF	H	2B	3B	HR	SO	BB	HBP	ERA
137.0	512	111	(12)	(0)	(4)	141	(8)	(4)	1.51

Because 田沢純一 has never been signed or drafted by a Japanese professional team, American teams will not have to go through the onerous process by which Daisuke and Kei Igawa were signed following the 2006 season.

Jacobs Traded to Royals

The Florida Marlins traded 1B Mike Jacobs to the Kansas City Royals on Thursday for right-handed reliever Leo Nunez. Jacobs was arbitration-eligible, so this at least fits in with the Marlins' modus operandi, even if it doesn't appear that Nunez has a whole lot of upside.

I don't really see how this makes much sense for the Royals. Why take on 28-year-old 1B with a .300 OBP when you already have the equally immovable (figuratively and literally) and more promising Billy Butler and Kila Ka'aihue already splitting time at 1B and DH?

Perhaps the bigger question is "Why am I attempting to find logic in a Royals acquisition?"

Anyone else have thoughts on this relatively obscure trade?

More on Governmentphiles

Sorry guys, I'll try to keep it to sports after this one. But even on Halloween, this is so scary that I thought everyone should know about it.

Obama Watch: Social Security

I realize it's a bit of a stretch connecting politics to what is ostensibly a sports blog. Well, I guess Obama did do a puff piece on SportsCenter with the droopy-eyed Stuart Scott.

Anyhow, Obama may have lost hundreds of thousands of votes on Wednesday from the "white guilt" Obama voting bloc, as Obama revealed that he might not actually be black when he confused Sanford and Son with The Jeffersons . The mishap ocurred during a campaign stop in which he was criticizing Republican efforts in 2005 to partially privatize social security.

"Could you imagine if you had your Social Security invested in the stock market these last two weeks, these last two months? You wouldn't need Social Security. You'd be having a -- like, what was it, Sanford and Son. `I'm coming Weezie!"

You could just as easily say to someone who had their retirement savings invested in the stock market, "Could you imagine if you had invested in Social Security?"

Suppose that in November 1974 a theoretical person set to retire in November 2008 gave $1,000 to Social Security to be returned to them 40 years later (what, again, is the point of this?). Today, it takes over $3,000 dollars to match the buying power of one thousand 1974 dollars. The government just divided your savings by one third. Thanks, FDR!

That same $1,000 would be worth at least $10,000 today had it been put into an index fund... that's after the recent market downturn. That's not some kind of complicated market wizardry, it's a fucking index fund.

These next four years are going to suck.

Steve’s Peeves: the 1st Installment

In a likely futile attempt to match the wit and humor of Nick’s Six, I introduce Steve’s Peeves. Aiming to combine Andy Rooney’s sarcasm on 60 Minutes and Peter Griffin’s clueless-ness on “What Really Grinds My Gears,” this column will be my outlet to vent on everything that is wrong with our world.

Why does everyone think they are the pre-2004 Red Sox? The 2008 Phillies are the latest example of a team that is winning a supposedly unattainable championship (see also: 2005 White Sox, 2008 Rays). Jayson Stark complains that only in Philadelphia would a long-awaited World Series championship be delayed by the supernatural force of rain. Like the pre-2004 Red Sox, the Phillies contend with a curse of their own. As Phillies fans ponder whether or not God hates them, let’s weigh their case against the pre-2004 Red Sox.

Length of curse

• Red Sox: 85 years, since Babe Ruth was sold in 1919 as a result of the same antics that caused the team to unload Manny Ramirez in 2008.

• Phillies: 21 years, since Philadelphia’s One Liberty Place skyscraper became the first to exceed William Penn’s statue in height*.

*It is worth noting that Philadelphia’s curse covers all Philadelphia sports. While the Red Sox failed to reclaim the World Series title for 86 years, their other teams had frequent success.

Length of championship drought

• Red Sox: 86 years, since defeating the Cubs in 6 in 1918.

• Phillies: 28 years, since defeating the Royals in 6 in 1980.

Circumstances of devastating letdowns

• Red Sox: Bucky fucking Dent, Billy fucking Buckner, Tim fucking Tschida, Aaron fucking Boone.

• Phillies: rain.

Hey, Philadelphia. Shut up.

Why EA Sports Should Be Charged With Fraud

I had an epiphany today.

It was a moment of pure joy, followed by a moment of pure embarassment. Embarassment because I can't believe I let a video game company fool me for this long.


Let me set the stage. Six seconds left, I'm tied with No. 2 LSU. I'm at my own forty. Rather than run the ball and force overtime, myself and my assistant Steve Spurrier (of the pixelated variety) decide, 'hell no, we've got this.' I send all of my receivers on seam routes, and I let Stephen Garcia sling his gun. Wouldn't you know it? Downtown Freddie Brown makes a one-handed catch and cuts in front of the pile-on.

Game over. Party in Five Points.




In the midst of my joyous celebration, my happy tears turned to sad tears. For I realized something.

THIS WOULD NEVER HAPPEN.

How can the video game conglomerate legally get away with fraud? How can EA sports let guys like me (23-year old men who live in a loft at their mother's house, wear nothing but sweatpants and live off the Five-Dollar Footlong Phenomenon) believe that such things could happen one day?

Sure, for the first three quarters of the game, they keep it realistic. My South Carolina defense was speedy and effective. My Cock-n-Fire offense was more like Cock-n-Block. All seemed right with the world. And in true Gamecock fan fashion, I was completely prepared to blow it in the fourth against a ranked team, and be totally OK with it.

But nooooooo. EA sports is like the older kid at school who tells you that Santa Claus isn't real. Or that he is real, but instead of giving kids presents, he molests them. You all remember that kid.

Here are some other things in the game that should be included in the class action lawsuit I am going to bring against EA. And yes, this counts as a Nick's Six.

1. Charlie Weiss is not nearly as fat in the game as he is in real life. Seriously, the front ass he features in the game does not do his actual front ass justice. Add Kansas coach Mark Mangino to this list, although I have yet to see his digital version.

2. The fan graphics could be way better. I was astonished to see that when I played at Clemson, their fans were not portrayed as baby killers. Nope. Just normal people. WTF?

3. There are way too many white defensive backs. Who made this game, Rush Limbaugh?

4. Instead of the gamecasts being done by Brad Nessler, Kirk Herbstreit and Lee Corso, EA should admit to the low level of college sportscasting that has plagued our society in real life. Keep Corso, and add Lou Holtz and Jesse Palmer to complete the "All-Retarded Team."

5. The game makes it easy for small league teams to rise up and compete for recruits with teams from the Big 12, SEC, Big 10 and PAC 10. No. This is fundamentally wrong. Teams from the Sun Belt do not have the money, access to high-priced cars, or ability to lure recruits with hookers like the major conferences do.

6. Todd Boeckman is a Heisman candidate. Enough said.

Editorial by Emilio Estevez

The link got truncated when I posted this article as a response to Elliot's post about sports movies, so I'm re-posting the link to it here

Favorite Sports Movie Heroes

In light of Nick's list, and after viewing Angels in the Outfield this weekend for somewhere near the 150th time, I have decided that an open forum needs to exist to discuss the most relevant, and prolific sports movie characters ever created. There are hundreds of movies that qualify, and I can think of no finer assembly of humans to decide, once and for all, what the 10 greatest are. My nominations are as follows:

1, Roger Bomman (Angels in the Outfield)- Is it because he later became a star on 3rd rock from the sun? No. Is it because his dad said he would only come back into his life if the Angels won the pennant? Funny, Insanely Cruel, but No. (While we're on that, do you think this has ever happened before? Do you think a father has bailed on his kid, picked the most horrible franchise in a particular sport, and vowed that he would return to his paternal duties if, and only if, said horrible franchise won their division??? That's got to be like an 8 on the "horrible fathers scale". I think a 10 would be Jon Bonet Ramsey's dad. But I digress). Is it because he had a tiny black friend that was afraid to travel in busses and thought the moon was God's thumb nail? Close...but no. It's because he revealed to the world the true identity of the Leader of the World's Angel Alliance....Christopher Lloyd.

2, Gordon Bombay (Mighty Ducks Series)- I have always been a huge fan of Emilio Estevez. But never was I prouder to be a part of his fan club than during the classic USA vs. Iceland rematch in Mighty Ducks 2. He truly made Wolf "The Dentist" Stannson his bitch. My favorite part, though, is when we absolutely anally reamed Trinidad & Tobago in the early rounds. USA won by like 20 goals....take that T & T!

3, Somebody from Major League (or Major League 2, but as God is my witness, don't you dare nominate somebody or even mention the abomination that was Major League 3: Back to the Minors. I'm still not over that)- There are many possibilities here. I can't decide. Is it Rube Baker, who somehow made it to the Cleveland Indians without being able to throw the ball from home plate to the pitchers mound, something that I'm relatively certain Terri Schiavo, in her final days, could have done. How about Pedro Cerrano, who ignored a fly ball when an errant pigeon swooped down? (good thing he didn't play for the Diamondbacks in 2001) Would the obvious choice be the "Wild Thing"? On the plus side, he did get lots of ladies. On the negative side, it took him like 73 takes to do an Old Spice commercial. Input needed here, please!

4, Cheeseburger Eddy (The Longest Yard)- I know, I know. He is possibly the least relevant person I could have picked for this movie (which I must admit, was pretty good). But Cheeseburger Eddy brought a kind of comedy that I haven't seen before it, or since. His schtick was based purely on his ability to smuggle McDonalds into prison. For that, he must be heralded. While some are putting their ass on the line to bring dope, shanks, and bitches into the slammer, Eddy opted for the "processed meats" line of work. God only knows how he got them into jail, and if it's the method we are all painfully considering, if that enhanced or detracted from the taste. I think that a simple recognition is warranted, and ultimately, long overdue.

Those are my nominations for right now. Others may come to me later during the day, but I want to get this forum open for debate. I would love suggestions, with the final goal of publishing a list of the finest sports characters Hollywood has to offer.

Erob

Another Rays Myth Dispelled

The Rays' success in 2008 has often been touted as a vindication of the "small ball" strategy and the importance of "manufacturing runs". However, careful examination reveals a different story. In fact, it's my contention that the Rays have succeeded despite below-average baserunning.

The Rays do make an effort to maximize their runs scored by utilizing their team speed and alleged baserunning acumen (they led the league in stolen base attempts). But when one considers that the Rays were 12th in SB% at 74%, one might start to wonder if these efforts contributed to their success as much as it is supposed to have. In fact, the Rays finished the regular season ranked 23rd in equivalent baserunning runs, with an EqBRR of (-10.75).

That the Rays were tenth in MLB in OPS and third in Runs Allowed (thanks to great pitching and infield defense) was a much more important factor in their success. And as far as sacrifice bunts go (a main bone of contention with the Joe Morgan types), the Rays were last in the league.

So the Rays display some elements of a small ball mentality, but their below-average baserunning and lack of sac bunts undermine this notion. As such, it's not clear that their reputation as a small ball team is particularly well-earned.



That's my third post for today. If that annoys anyone, I'm sorry. However, you won't likely be hearing from me for the rest of the week as I go back to working 14-hour days.

Biden Gets Grilled

Damn! This is hardball!

I found Biden's attempt to redefine the phrase "spread the wealth" quite amusing.

Nick's Six Most Unathletic Presidents and Vice Presidents

The much anticipated debut of Nick's Six, an inconsistent, unprovoked, and often uneducated sports listing. Today I will explore the six most unathletic presidents and vice presidents...

We've heard the stories. Gerald Ford's triumphs at the University of Michigan, Ronald Reagan's heroic swimming skills, and John F. Kennedy's bedroom gymnastics have all been well documented and widely known. But what about our elected leaders who weren't really cut out for a life in athletics? Look no further:

1. Franklin Delano Roosevelt: Unfortunately for FDR, murderball was not around in 1940. What, too soon?

2. Dick Cheney: Hunting is NOT a sport. Neither is shooting your friend in the face. I also wonder how badly W. would smoke Cheney in a 5k.

3. William Jefferson Clinton: Getting this guy to excercise was like getting Manny to cut his hair. Look for Clinton to appear on future lists including Nick's Six Worst Interns To Choose Out Of a Pool of Hundreds of Much Hotter Interns.

4. Abraham Lincoln: This pick may surprise people considering Lincoln's height. But basketball had not yet been invented during Lincoln's time. And also, what kind of athlete goes to the theatre?

5. John Adams: If you think about it, this pick makes perfect (or absolutely no) sense. John Adams, our 2nd president, was recently played in a must-see HBO series by Paul Giamatti. The connection, you ask? Giamatti is the son of the late A. Bartlett Giamatti, the man who banned the great Pete Rose. Plus, the Little League center in Bristol, Conn., is named after Giamatti, and those kids SUCK.

6. As much as it pains me to say it...George W. makes this list. Yes, the greatest president of all time was on the Yale baseball team. But he was also a cheerleader. Cheerleading is not a sport.

Thank you for your time. And may there be one more debate before the election. One in which Barack Obama destroys John McCain in a bi-partisan game of one-on-one.

Let's put an end to the Marlins-bashing

I typically attempt to avoid mainstream baseball coverage at all costs. I just can't see the point in getting all worked up over atrocities like Francisco Rodriguez being discussed as an MVP candidate. For this reason, I typically watch baseball games on mute (I strongly recommend this if you don't do it already). But because I currently work from 3 PM to 11 PM Central Time, I'm missing all of the World Series except for the weekend games. As a consequence, I'm checking espn.com/mlb as soon as I get home. Say what you will about the worldwide leader, but they do provide up-to-the-minute scores.

It is for this reason and this reason alone that I happened upon this particular outbreak of stupidity, which basically warns that the Rays' franchise may be in danger of become the next Florida Marlins. This claim is both explicitly and implicitly idiotic.

First, I'll address the explicit claim: The Rays are in danger of becoming the Florida Marlins.

While it is true that St. Petersburg is one of the smallest markets in baseball and that Tropicana Field was largely empty even as the Rays were making their historic run at the AL East championship, the Tampa and Florida organizations are more different than similar under their current management. Florida is one of the few clubs in baseball that hasn't boarded the bandwagon of signing their young talent to long-term, below-market contracts by buying out their arbitration years and a few free agent years. Tampa does this. Florida opts to non-tender its arbitration-eligible players or trade them away for several more players, all of whom won't be arb-eligible for several more years. At the same time, Florida's championship teams (engineered chiefly by current Tigers GM Dave Dombrowski) had some expensive veteran pieces. The Rays have a lot of young, cost-controlled players who will only get better.

Now, I'll address the implicit claim: the Florida Marlins are poorly run and not to be emulated.

The Marlins cannot be blamed for the incentive structure placed before them. If the profit-sharing rules make it so that they're in the black for the year before they even sell a ticket, that's on Bud. But more importantly, despite everyone in the media wanting to crucify Larry Beinfest in the offseason for dumping the salaries of Cabrera and Willis, the Marlins finished 84-77 in one of baseball's toughest divisions (and ten wins better than the Tigers). Did I mention that this all happened while the principal prospect in the deal, Cameron Maybin, spent most of the year still in the minor leagues? In addition, the Marlins have 2 World Championships in the last 11 years. Only the Red Sox and Yankees have won as many during that time span.

It's my opinion that the goal of operating a baseball team is to maximize games won and profit earned. The Rays clearly place more emphasis on the former than the Marlins do (I don't think Cliff Floyd or Eric Hinske would ever be found on a contemporary Marlins team). The Marlins just happen to win games while seeking profits, which is more than we can say for most other teams.

Of course, it's possible that Howard Bryant (the author of the article that started this rant) has a different view of how to run a franchise: retain all of your famous players and sign as many other teams' famous players as possible. Hey Howard: I think there might be some positions open in the Yankees' front office, if you're interested.

Finally a Relaxing Weekend

I feel bad for our lonely blog. So, instead of doing fantasy baseball 09 research (like I should be since Steve tied me and beat me in the tie breaker), I am going to ramble a bit on this blog.

Yes, finally a relaxing weekend. Why is that? There is no Gamecock football to worry about. I am quite upset with the fact that I no longer have high expectations for our poor gamecock football program. Every year, I am constantly reminded that even if we recruit a few big names, or even if we get a QB that might have potential, we still cannot compete with Florida, Georgia, LSU, etc. Fighting for 3rd in the SEC East isnt fun. Nor is sitting at home and watching us come so close in every SEC matchup, always to lose it in the end, or just never have enough offense to mount a comeback. I love USC, and I really hope that I am wrong and we will compete for an SEC Championship birth. However, every year that goes by is just another reminder that we probably wont get there unless we luck out and every SEC East team has a down year (and even then, we need a team that doesnt average 2+ turnovers per game). So yes, this will be a relaxing weekend away from Gamecock football.

Random thought: Next year maybe we should have a 2nd fantasy baseball league, which is just a 1 year league. Doesnt matter how many people want to do it, as long as atleast 1/2 the league joins. It can be used as the tie breaker instead of predicting the playoffs.

Welcome

Welcome to Sox & Cocks, a blog devoted to musings on a diverse set of topics, especially including sports, from Boston to Columbia. The common thread shared by the blog's authors is a connection either to Massachusetts or to South Carolina.