Tuesday, March 31, 2009

Gamecocks Take 2 from Kentucky, Citadel Takes Away Any Chance of Gamecock Ranking Next Week




Carolina performed admirably on the road in the SEC this weekend, taking two of three from Kentucky. It could have been three of three, but senior reliever Alex Farroto gave up gave up a two run homer in the bottom of the 9th inning, giving Kentucky the "W" in the second game of the Saturday double-header. Given Farotto's performance thus far this season, I think we can all forgive this one setback. What was more troubling was the way Carolina's 13 run lead rapidly dissipated in the later innings of the first game. The Gamecocks held on for the win, but only after letting the Wildcats 1 run of tieing. The final score of the game? 20-19. The number of hits? USC - 25 UK 18. I think it's safe to say that Carolina's pitching is a bit of a concern this season. Still, I'd be remiss if i didn't mention Blake Cooper's complete game win on Sunday. The junior hurler allowed just 2 runs on 8 hits with 5 strikouts while Carolina held on for the 4-2 victory. Cooper's move Sunday from week day starter? I Like. Overall, taking 2 on the road in the SEC makes for a good weekend.

Complete Wrap-Ups:

In other news:
The Gamecocks managed to lose their Tuesday match against the Citadel. What gives? *Ahem* Pitching. Should we be upset that USC dropped only its first mid-week contest of the year? Yes. USC currently sits at 4-5 in the SEC and it hasn't even faced UGA or Florida yet. While it might be too much to expect USC to make a deep run in the NCAA tournament this year, we'll need to a strong showing in our out of conference schedule to make our case to get in. Sound familiar to anyone?

Also, I had the chance to attend the UGA vs. Clemson game Tuesday night. Georgia looked impressive. UGA happened to win, although, not before Kyle Parker and his nice pants made it interesting by driving in a run in the 9th to bring the Tigers to within one.

Thursday, March 26, 2009

Trouble in ButtParadise

I think I've been made.

My trade offer of Chipper Jones for Ramon Hernandez has been vetoed. But there's been nothing on the league's message board. Where is the OUTRAGE?!

I will continue to create havoc, and keep you all posted.

Wednesday, March 25, 2009

Gamecocks Outlast Pesky Georgia Southern


The Gamecocks outlasted Georgia Southern Wednesday night in a 10 inning affair. Lefty freshman pitcher, Mike Roth, got the start for Carolina, giving up 1ER, 1BB, and 2HBP in two innings of work. Roth was replaced by fellow freshman pitcher Matt Price in the top of the third. Price pitched beautifully as well, going 7 innings while giving up 0ER, 1BB, and 1HPB. This is good news for the Gamecocks, as pitching has struggled a few times this season. On a related note, I’d love to tell you why Roth left in the 2nd, but the truth is I have no idea. Senior Alex Farotto came on in the 10th to finish out the game. Farotto’s stats were indicative of his entire season thus far. The only blemish in his inning of work was one hit batter after getting the first out on a ground ball.

On the opposite side of the ball (does that cliché work for baseball, too?), the Yardcocks just couldn’t get much going all night. Consider this odd series of events in the bottom of the 7th: after leadoff batter Scott Wingo walks on four straight balls, Bobby Haney proceed to strike out trying to bunt him over… with a 2-2 count. Then, after a Bradley, Jr. line out to center, the Gamecocks ended the inning when Wingo was caught stealing second. But it didn’t end there. In the bottom of the 9th Scott Wingo doubled to left field with two outs already on the board. Not to be outdone by his 7th inning antics, Wingo then ends the 9th inning by being thrown out attempting to steal third base. Amazing. The Gamecocks finally prevailed in the 10th when hometown hero and all-around baller DeAngelo Mack singled to right field with two outs, scoring hero-in-the-making Jackie Bradley, Jr.

As my dad always says, “A win is a win is a win.” Mid-week games can sneak up on even the best teams, as UGA’s loss to Wright State yesterday illustrates. Still, I have to think that Southern probably didn’t send their best pitcher to the mound with a weekend series a couple days away. Carolina needs to find a way to score some more runs without all the gaffes on the bases. Perhaps some of our sambermatricians out there could provide a comment or two on the soundness of the above-described base running strategy?

Tuesday, March 24, 2009

Gamecocks Take Down Cougars

I know one cougar I'd like to take down...
(Other titles considered for this post include: Gamecocks Get On Cougars Early, Cougars Lay Down for Gamecocks, Gamecocks Come from Behind - Finish Over Cougars, All is Not Lost, Cougars Still Hot. ...I could go all day, but I won't.)

Well, The Gamcocks took a convincing 14-2 victory at College of Charleston Tuesday night. As I was unable to follow the game live, on tv, radio, or even via the internet, I have no commentary to offer up. You can check out The State's coverage here or the athletic department's coverage here. One note of interest: former USC assistant coach, Monte Lee, left the Gamecocks last year and is in his first year as head coach of C of C, his alma mater.



Nick's Six: Best Sports (Movie) Plays EVER

This list needs no explanation. Let the debate rage.

Disclaimer: I will say that I don't want to hear anyone's shit about the floater from "Rookie of the Year." That play was horseshit and Henry Rowengartner is a bitch. Yes, I am partially biased because that pitch took the fictional 1994 Mets out of the fictional 1994 playoffs. Although I will give Henry props for enticing a runner to be picked off through a game of chicken.

1. The Annexation of Puerto Rico: This genius play entered our living room in the movie "Little Giants." It wasn't innovative, as it is basically just a very long version of "Fumblerooskie." But it went 99 yards, and helped to beat that bastard Kevin O'Shea and his team of future high school douchebags. The only problems I had with this movie are that the wide receiver cheats by using stick-um, and girls can't play football. Other than that -- it's a masterpiece.

Best line from the movie: "What a hunk. What am I talking about? I'm the Icebox. Icebox doesn't like boys. Except for that one..."

PS -- Look at the Icebox NOW.

2. Ahh...the ol' rosenbag as the ball, security guard stool, hidden ball trick: Although probably illegal, prodigious manager Billy Heywood in "Little Big League" got his team rolling with this play. It involved everyone, including the token African-American security guard. Add a montage to Dion's "Run Around Sue," and a bullhorn drowning out cuss words? Classic.

Best line from the movie: "What am I supposed to do? Go home and tell my wife I got cut by a 12-year-old but it's OK because he likes my baseball card?!"

3. The Catch: Before Jim Edmonds started making ridonculous catches for the Angels, Matthew McConaughey was doing it, but not without the help of some divine intervention. The only flaw in this movie is that it tells you believing in God will bring your deadbeat father back. Sorry, Roger...good luck on "Third Rock From the Sun." Also, this is the last movie I saw Matthew McConaughey in before I hated him (don't worry, "Dazed and Confused" came out a year earlier).

Best line from the movie: "I know who you are. I heard you on the radio. You sure do have a big chin."

4. Ricky Bobby's finish: If every NASCAR race ended like this (a firey wreck, followed by a a footrace to the finish, and ending with a simultaneous slow-motion dive), then I would consider tuning in.

Best line from the movie (not possible): "If you don't like Big Red, then Fuck you!"

5. The Jet steals home: OK, this play is at the end of "The Sandlot," but I mean...what other white guy besides Benny Rodriguez has ever stolen home? Please, I'd love to know. Then again he DOES look like Jacoby Ellsbury. I'd also love to know who made two sequels to this movie...they should be shot in the throwing arm.

Best line from the movie: "You play ball like a giiirrrrrrrrl!" (OBVIOUSLY)

6. Bobsled walk: There's nothing more touching than four Jamaicans carrying a sled down an icy hill while four Germans start a slow clap for them. "Cool Runnings" changed my life. Tears. But seriously, you can't tell me these guys would've past any routine IOC drug testing.

Best line from the movie: "I'm freezing my royal Rastafarian nay-nays off!"

Hell Must Be Frozen...


...Because I actually agree with Columbia Sports Columnist, Ron Morris. In today's issue of The State, Morris actually makes a sentient argument for something. What's more, Morris' issue of choice is actually relevant! Morris, seen right, usually spends his columns jumping to conclusions and writing with about as much forethought as a monkey takes when it flings poo. I'm not even going to go down the road that most Gamecock fans take when discussing Ron Morris. I don't think Morris has it in for USC. I don't think Morris secretly cheers for Gamecocks losses or Clemson's successes. The only thing I know about Ron Morris is that 98% of the time he is incapable of conducting the most basic investigative journalism.
Here, though, Morris comes through in style. The Confederate flag is a hot button issue in the South, particularly in South Carolina. Whatever you think about the flag as a symbol, the bottom line is it is keeping the entire state of South Carolina from joining the 20th century. Get rid of the Confederate flag, and amazing things will start happening around the state. Mullets will disappear at a rate commiserate with that of the "Great Mullet Blight of the 90s." Only actual wife beaters will wear wife beaters, improving the efficiency of the legal system. Baby-momas will cease to be the predominant family unit. Hell, even Croakies might go out of style. Well one can always dream, anyway. As a Georgia native, I suppose I'll always be accused of not being able to fully understand the issue of the Stars & Bars as it relates to SC. I do know this: Georgia used to actually have half of its state flag devoted to the confederacy, but we actually booted it the fuck off. Why can't South Carolina do the same?

Sunday, March 22, 2009

USC Drops 2 to LSU






Well, the Yardcocks dropped the weekend series to LSU by a 2-1 margine. After starter Sam Dyson pitched well in the Friday contest, the freshman starting pitchers failed to hold up on Saturday and Sunday. Although, it should be noted that Freshman hurler Nolan Belcher performed considerably better this time around than in his other outings. Belcher left with the score knotted at 3 in the 5th inning.


One of the bright spots this season, aside from the new Carolina Stadium, has been the play of Freshman Jackie Bradley, Jr. The kid's got all the makings of a college star in the making. This weekend Bradley hit .500 with 2 HRs. Two weekends ago, vs. Long Beach State, I had the opportunity to take in a game at Carolina Stadium. Even though the Gamecocks lost, Jackie Bradley, Jr. put on a show for fans. During the game he laid down a text book bunt (more on Ray Tanner's propensity to bunt in another post), coaxed out a walk, singled, and showed off his cannon for a arm from right field. He's going to be a good one, folks.


Also, per the article above, it appears Ray Tanner is finally playing around with the 2B spot. Whit Merrifield moved there Sunday in what could very well be a permanent move. Scot Wingo (So.) has held that position since last year. However, Wingo's AVG has hovered around the .240s in both seasons (I think, I don't have stats in front of me). That's just not going to get it done in college ball. The difference was, last year Wingo's OBP was helped by a ridiculously high 30 hit-by-pitches. This year, pitchers have not been so kind (or unkind, depending on your point of view) to Wingo. If USC is going to make any noise in the SEC or even make the post season, they are going to have to get more production out of their second baseman.

Former Gamecock to Keep Goal for USA National Team




Former Gamecock, Brad Guzan, will be in goal for the USA's World Cup qualifying match against El Salvador on March 28. After yellow cards in consecutive games, usual starter in goal, Tim Howard, will be forced to sit out the match with El Salvador. The match will take place in El Salvador's capital, El Salvador, and will be televised on ESPN2 at 9 pm. Guzan, who already has a pair of shutouts in World Cup qualifying against Barbados, currently plays for the English Premier League team, Aston Villa. In 2007 he was named the Major League Soccer "Goalkeeper of the Year."

ButtPirates Update: Done Deal

I'm happy to report that 'team wally' has accepted my offer of Hanley Ramirez for B.J. Upton. He immediately sent me an offer: Yunel Escobar for Chipper Jones.

I countered.

Wally now has a Chipper Jones for Ramon Hernandez deal sitting on his table.

I also received a reasonable trade request from another league member. I declined. This person must understand that I deal solely with team wally.

As for team wally, I looked at his fantasy history. Impressive. 48 teams managed, mostly football. He's won a few football leagues. It is my personal mission to get him his first baseball league title.

Ajiboye Arrested for Purchasing Arbitrarily Demonized Pain Reliever

So it turns out that DT Ladi Ajiboye's suspension from the USC football team was in response to a February arrest for allegedly participating in a drug deal.

According to the incident report, shortly after midnight on Feb. 21 at the intersection of Harden and Lady streets, investigators witnessed Ajiboye engage in a “hand-to-hand transaction” with another person. The other person was not identified in the report.

After Ajiboye returned to a car driven by USC offensive lineman Terrence Campbell, sheriff’s personnel followed the 2004 Ford Crown Victoria and pulled it over after Campbell failed to signal for a turn, authorities said.

They found evidence of marijuana use and five grams of pot between the two front seats, which Ajiboye admitted belonged to him, the report stated.

“Our narcotic agents witnessed a drug transaction,” sheriff’s department spokesman Chris Cowan said. “They saw him get into the car. They made the stop. He was arrested.”
I'm a little confused about the sequence of events here. Why was the arrest made after the failure to singal instead of after the transaction was witnessed by the narcotis agent?

Maybe one of our law students could shed some light on this?

Saturday, March 21, 2009

ButtPirates Addendum

OK so after some deep thought on the toilet this morning, I decided just trading studs for Pirates won't work, because nobody owns anybody on the Pirates with a few exceptions.

So instead, I have chosen one guy in my league that I will offer ridiculous trades to, that will benefit him, and him only. This way about 12 other middle-aged men get their undies in a bunch all season, and this one guy gets the greatest fantasy team of his life. I was going to choose this at random, but when I logged on to the league today, a guy named Wally posted 'I will consider any reasonable trades.'

CONGRATULATIONS WALLY, YOU'VE WON!

About three minutes ago I offered Wally Hanley Ramirez for Adam Jones. Touche.

More updates are sure to ensue.

Friday, March 20, 2009

Pirate Fetish

Dear Sirs,

Since I am so god-awful at real fantasy baseball, I have decided to conduct a small social experiment.

I have joined a public league on yahoo.com, and named my team the ButtPirates. My goal is to draft a regular roster of studs, and then immediately begin offering up trades for any members of the Pirates that people might own. Then I fill the roster with undrafted members of the Pirates. The initial "David Wright for Nate McClouth" trades will certainly cause some serious upheaval, as I'm positive that whatever league I join will certainly be rife with fat 50-year-old men living in their mother's basement who LIVE for fantasy baseball, and the occasional trip to Hooters.

I will keep you posted on this blog as to how the ButtPirates fare, from draft day, until the end. If you have any other suggestions on how to keep pissing people off in order to keep the fun going, let me know.

Here is my confirmation letter. If you do not laugh at the first line, you are not a real person.


"Hey nick_mets06,
This note is to confirm that you've
created the team called ButtPirates and signed up for one of our Public Leagues,
where you'll compete against other managers who've chosen the same settings as
you have."

Wednesday, March 18, 2009

ASS!



It's pronounced "Stee-ven," you prick.

Friday, March 13, 2009

FUCK!


MSU (pictured left) takes the Gamecocks (pictured right) out of the SEC and NCAA tournament in one fell swoop.

Thursday, March 12, 2009

The Outlook Happy Hour Invite

I just received an Outlook happy hour invite and realized how depressing post-college drinking can be.

College "Let's drink" invites usually consisted of no more than a text message and bar name. For example: "Chubby's. Drunk." was a perfectly acceptable message.

Now, I just got a "A few people were talking about getting together tomorrow after work" Outlook message. My boss is invited. His boss is invited. Its written professionally. There is a time attached. The happy air of uncertainty surrounding the weekend is totally out the window because people have wives and little toddler-shitting kids to get home to.

Its not that my coworkers aren't fun, its just that the process is so amazingly soul-crushing compared to my carefree lassez-faire drinking days of USC. In addition, its not like I can pre-game in the office - or avoid paying less than $25 if I want to get a buzz (f*ck you DC).

But getting paid is nice.

Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Is there a player you hope used steroids?

If there's a player I hope used steroids, it's Derek Jeter. I think that'll probably get a lot of seconds on this blog.

Jeter would just completely topple the media's "clean player, dirty player" paradigm. And it would also put one of the most overrated douchebags in sports firmly in his place.

I'm curious to hear other nominations.

Lester: Mid Rotation Starter

I am with Connor on the Lester as a mid-rotation starter.
I will take Steve's challenge to name more than 5 teams where he wouldnt be a #2 starter:

The following teams, generally in order of how solid the argument that Lester is #3:

1. New York (CC & AJ)
2. Arizona (Haren & Webb)
3. Seattle (Felix & Bedard)
4. LA Angels (Lackey & Santana)
5. San Fran (Tim & Cain)
6. Cincy (Volquez, Cueto, Harang)
7. Atlanta (Lowe & Vazquez)
8. Tampa (Shields,Kazmir, & Garza)
9. Cubs (Zambrano, Dempster, Harden)
10. LA Dodgers (Billingsley & Kershaw)

Lester would only be the undisputed ace on 4 teams:
Baltimore, Washington, Pitsburgh, and Texas.

Although, he would have an argument for ace status on:
Florida - against Nolasco
St Louis - Wainwright (but a healthy Carpenter is better)
KC - Grienke
Oakland - Duchscherer
Colorado - Jimenez, Cook, and Francis.
Mil - Yovani!

Yahoo has Lester ranked as #21 fantasy starter, but I think we can all agree Lester's value is inflated by pitching in Fenway (yes, its a pitchers park!) and by playing with Boston's offense and bullpen behind him.

Tuesday, March 10, 2009

Pumping Gas

According to Lane Kiffin, all players from South Carolina who play for USC wind up pumping gas for the rest of their lives. You'd think he'd at least throw in coke and appearing at every charity auction within a twenty mile radius of the USC campus.

Jon Lester...WTF

On Monday, Red Sox Nation was delighted to hear that Jon Lester had signed a five-year $30 million with the Red Sox. However, it turns out that Jon Lester did not in fact make the mistake of signing long-term for less than he's worth. ESPN made the mistake, quoting Yahoo! Sports on an erroneous report. Is this really what mainstream media is becoming, even in sports?

Monday, March 9, 2009

The Wet, Bleak Days of March

Your optimism astounds me Connor. You are a true Gamecock.

I look at the depth chart and am distraught.

Moe Brown is still on this team and is listed as a starter?! He couldnt catch herpes from a 60 year-old French whore.
While you see "capable replacements" filling in for Captain and E Cook, I see... Addison Williams, this should be a delight to 11 people: the starting SEC QBs.
With both Cooks (E and J), McKinley, Jasper, Succop, and Captain all gone, I see 6 of our 7 best players gone. And, as for our best returning player, Eric Norwood, how many games do you think it will take until he goes into "Im mailing in this season because I dont want to get hurt and have Mel Kiper call me an injury risk" mode?

Stephen THE SAVIOR OF THE PROGRAM Garcia (copyright cocknfire from garnetandblackattack.com) has done nothng to suggest he will be anything beyond frustratingly inconsistent. Perhaps we should realize the truth about Garcia's "flashes of brilliance": even the sun shines on a horse's ass every once in awhile.

No, this time of year is not magical - its a depressing cock-tease: rays of sunshine will be at a premium between the bleak, cold days of March.

Sunday, March 8, 2009

Spring practice depth chart released

It's that magical time of year when 45 degrees with heavy rain feels like a tropical retreat. As we watch spring training games in Florida and Arizona, our minds start to consider the possibility of leaving the house without spending five good minutes of heavy layering.

It's that magical time of year when girlfriends nationwide are put on notice that they have no reasonable expectation that their boyfriends will pay them a lick of attention in the build-up to (fantasy) baseball season.

And every once in a while, when you least expect it, you'll stumble upon a tasty treat like the release of the Gamecock football team's spring depth chart.

For losing three stars to early departure plus the stalwart Jasper Brinkley and Kenny McKinley to graduation, this group looks surprisingly strong. The defensive line should be one of the best in the SEC. The secondary shouldn't lose much from last year, as Munnerlyn and Cook will each be succeeded by capable replacements in Akeem Auguste and Chris Culliver. The offensive line looks like it will be stronger and deeper than ever before.

It would seem as though our success will (once again) hinge on our ability or inability to generate production from the offensive skill positions.